How Do You Take The Fear Out Of Public Speaking? Post 1 of the Speaking TODAY! on Tuesdays series

Speaking!

Worse, speaking in public!

What is it about speaking in public that scares people simply by thinking about it?

Tell someone that you want them to talk to a group of several hundred people and watch them find all sorts of illnesses, international trips or “sticking needles into their eyeballs” excuses – these have just got to be better than speaking in public.

The palms get sweaty. The inside of their stomach churns like a swirling river, the moth goes dry, notes are fumbled. A normally coherent person start babbling and mumbling and “ah, um, ur” become part of the lexicon.

Now take that same person to a café full of several hundred people and have them chat to a friend over coffee – no problems! They can do that easily. They become animated, funny, loud, expressive, enjoying themselves and are totally coherent. They can even have the rest of the room watching them and being totally embarrassed by their performance – and are they aware of the looks and awkward feelings? No! They’re having too much fun talking to their friend.

And what are they doing? Speaking in public in a room full of several hundred people!

So we’ve established very quickly, speaking in public is not an issue.

I know of people who act or who teach to classes of adults and children, who turn to liquefied jelly if they have to give a speech in public. And these are people you would least expect to feel that way, especially when you consider that they are in front of an audience as part of their daily work. 

So it’s not necessarily the standing up in front of an audience that scares people

What is it about speaking in public that scares people so much? When even just having to say “Happy Birthday” or “farewell” to a colleague in a room full of workmates becomes a fearful enterprise?

Now these are just my thoughts, but I think it is because we become the centre of attention. Every word we say, our knowledge on a subject, our confidence and our ability to actually present or perform is now being focused on by every person in that room.

And, having been witness to so many speaking disasters by other people, we become conscious that we too could fall into that category.

You may have your own story here that’s worth sharing. What’s the worst presentation you’ve ever seen or been a part of?

When you talk to our friend over coffee generally you feel safe talking about the things that are happening in your world or talking about your work in detail, or freely expressing an opinion even if you know they may not agree. You feel safe because they are your friend. You trust them. You know they will accept you for who you are. You know you won’t be judged. And you know, whether you are aware of it or not, that it’s OK to say the things you do because you will both share the conversation. It’s not just all about you.

So to me, the real fear is caused by the feeling that the people I’m talking to may not be my friends, they may be strangers or peers to be impressed. I may not have had time to feel I am in a trusted, safe environment, or that I won’t be accepted or judged. And I may feel that this is all about me, I’m the centre of attention and that the audience won’t be there to save me or fill in the gaps like my friend would be.

What we discover then is that speaking in public is actually easy for the majority of the population, we speak publically, often in very crowded forums, as a natural part of our day in so many ways.

It’s handling the other stuff that makes us feel the way we do.

Interestingly, I believe that every single one of those is nothing more than a mind game we play within our sub-conscience.  And, if that is the case, than they can all be addressed and changed by one person – you.

I hope I haven’t spoilt your next coffee in public with your friend. I just had to prove that you, yes you, are a public speaker.

Inspire The World With Your Words

Colin

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